But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
