it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She bit a glass in half.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
