This girl is more easily done than said...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
