it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
