let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
