i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
