tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
