none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Randomize