Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
