No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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