2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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