it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
