Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
