I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
