when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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