i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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