What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
