well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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