You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
