Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
