Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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