the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
