He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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