WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
