I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
