My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
