Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
