a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
