I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just had sex bonerless
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
