all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
