I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
