end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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