Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
