I am in a vortex of obligation.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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