How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
