i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
