Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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