Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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