Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
