and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
