Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
