so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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