I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
