I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
where are my eyebrows?
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