hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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