9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
