I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
