one word: firstdatebathroomanal
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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