maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
