I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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