Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
