The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you will always have a special place in my vag
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
