How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
